Each exercise will give you specific instructions regarding
the number of words which should be eliminated from the sample sentence. Using
a sheet of paper, reduce the sentence according to the instructions. Then scroll
down your screen to see the possible answer. Your goal is to complete ten
exercises in a row, or until you feel comfortable making sentences more concise.
Exercise 1: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
Knowing how to conduct an effective job
interview, Hiroko is a cunning and clever woman. (Reduce from 15
to 13 words.)
Possible answer: Knowing how to conduct an
effective job interview, Hiroko is a cunning woman.
Exercise 2: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
The job tasks given to me is to perform the task
of cleaning the kitchen, mopping the bathroom floor and
straightening the living room. (Reduce from 24 to 19 words)
Possible answer: The job given to me is to clean
the kitchen, mop the bathroom floor and straighten the living
room.
Exercise 3: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that
there is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk
until the shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you
should hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
I will complete my research paper in a
period of a week. (Reduce from 12 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: I will complete my
research paper in a week.
Exercise 4:
Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
William Jefferson Clinton, who was formerly the
President of the United States, now has a job with a private
company. (Reduce from 20 to 18 words.)
Possible answer: William Jefferson Clinton,
formerly the President of the United States, now has a job with a
private company.
Exercise 5: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The doctor was examining the patient for
symptoms of a rare form of liver cancer. (Reduce from 15 to 14
words.)
Possible answer: The doctor examined the
patient for symptoms of a rare form of liver cancer.
Exercise 6: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
Susan is the teacher who teaches Chemistry at
her High School. (Reduce from 11 to7 words.)
Possible answer: Susan is a high school
Chemistry teacher.
Exercise 7: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
The student is writing a writing assignment for
his English Composition class. (Reduce from 12 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: The student completes an
English Composition assignment.
Exercise 8: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
To succeed it is important to be along the
lines of your friend. In other words, you should be a hard
worker. (Reduce from 22 to 19 words.)
Possible answer: To succeed it is important
to be like your friend. In other words, you should be a hard
worker.
Exercise 9: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The book which is located on the table is a
Grammar book. (Reduce from 12 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: The book on the table is a
Grammar book.
Exercise 10: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
When Ozzie Osborne got on stage, the audience
became excited by his performance. (Reduce from 13 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: The performer, Ozzie Osborne,
excited the audience.
Exercise 11: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
She was in deep thought and contemplation about
what happened. (Reduce from 10 to 4 words.)
Possible answer: She contemplated what
happened.
Exercise 12: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
Julius ran with the other runners in the 10,000
meter track event and finished third overall. (Reduce from 16 to 9
words.)
Possible answer: Julius finished third in the
10,000 meter track event.
Exercise 13: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that
there is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until
the shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
In my opinion, I think that he should have
been sentenced to death. (Reduce from 13 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: He should have been
sentenced to death.
Exercise 14: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
Her purse, which was manufactured in Italy, was
stolen yesterday. (Reduce from 10 to 6 words)
Possible answer: Her Italian purse was stolen
yesterday.
Exercise 15: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
Angela was exercising on the treadmill today.
(Reduce from 7 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: Angela exercised on the
treadmill today.
Exercise 16: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
It will be a bright and sunny day at the beach.
(Reduce from11 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: It will be sunny at the beach.
Exercise 17: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
Regretting what happened, she is deeply sorry
for what happened. (Reduce from 10 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: She is sorry for what happened.
Exercise 18: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
Until such time that our professor gets
released from the hospital, we will not have class. (Reduce
from 16 to 13 words.)
Possible answer: Until our professor gets
released from the hospital, we will not have class.
Exercise 19: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
Frankie Jones, who is the student who is taking
Psychology 100, is a senior in college. (Reduce from 16 to 11
words.)
Possible answer: Frankie Jones, the student
taking Psychology 100, is a college senior.
Exercise 20: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
Steve was given a warning by the police
officer. (Reduce from 9 to 5 words.)
Possible answer: The police officer warned
Steve.
Exercise 21: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
He works hard completing his job assignments.
(Reduce from 7 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: He works hard at his job.
Exercise 22: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
A student needs to have perseverance, endurance
and a desire to see things through. (Reduce from 14 to 4 words.)
Possible answer: A student should persevere.
Exercise 23: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
It is inappropriate for men to flirt with
persons of the female gender if they are married. (Reduce from
17 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: Married men should not
flirt with women.
Exercise 24: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
While I was at the department store, I bought a
jacket made of leather. (Reduce from 14 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: At the department store, I
bought a leather jacket.
Exercise 25: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The students were listening to the professor’s
lecture. (Reduce from 8 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: The students listened to the
professor’s lecture.
Exercise 26: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
I want you to straighten and clean the room so
that everything is clean. (Reduce from 14 to 4 words.)
Possible answer: Please clean the room.
Exercise 27: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
It is a very hot day today outside. (Reduce from
8 to 4 words.)
Possible answer: It is hot today.
Exercise 28: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
Finally, the negotiators arrived at an
agreement with the terrorists. (Reduce from 10 to 7.)
Possible answer: Finally, the negotiators
and the terrorists agreed.
Exercise 29: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The homeowners who live on Jackson Street will
have to park on a different street while their street is
resurfaced. (Reduce from 20 to 15 words.)
Possible answer: The Jackson Street homeowners
will park on a different street while their street is resurfaced.
Exercise 30: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
Carol was ice-skating on a frozen lake. (Reduce
from 7 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: Carol ice-skated on a frozen
lake.
Exercise 31: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
The skin of a turtle is durable and
long-lasting.
(Reduce from 9 to 4 words.)
Possible answer: Turtle skin is durable.
Exercise 32: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
The soldiers fired and shot artillery at the
enemy. (Reduce from 9 to 7.)
Possible answer: The soldiers shot artillery at
the enemy.
Exercise 33: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
I think that the government taxes its
citizens too much. (Reduce from 10 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: The government taxes its
citizens excessively.
Exercise 34: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The man who was talking to the professor will
not be able to take the quiz next week. (Reduce from 18 to 12
words.)
Possible answer: The man talking to the
professor will not take next week’s quiz.
Exercise 35: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The patient was being examined by the doctor.
(Reduce from 8 to 5 words.)
Possible answer: The doctor examined the
patient.
Exercise 36: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
The teacher found an answer to the math problem
by writing it up on the blackboard. (Reduce from 16 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: The teacher solved the math
problem on the blackboard.
Exercise 37: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
The supervisor has made a demand of insisting
that all employees work one hour of overtime each week. (Reduce
from 18 to 11 words.)
Possible answer: The supervisor requires
employees to work one hour of overtime weekly.
Exercise 38: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
I am of the opinion that attending class by
students should be optional. (Reduce from 13 to 5 words.)
Possible answer: Class attendance should be
optional.
Exercise 39: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The silk blouse that Mary bought was imported
from Italy. (Reduce from 10 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: Mary bought an imported silk
Italian blouse.
Exercise 40: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The Boy Scouts were soliciting donations in the
neighborhood. (Reduce from 9 to 8 words.)
Possible answer: The Boy Scouts solicited
donations in the neighborhood.
Exercise 41: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
Professor Wong adamantly insisted that all
students complete the research paper by next class. (Reduce from
14 to 12 words.)
Possible answer: Professor Wong insisted that
students complete the research paper by next class.
Exercise 42: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
She drove her car to school. (Reduce from 6 to 4
words.)
Possible answer: She drove to school.
Exercise 43: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
As you are already aware, Steven will have
to resign from our company. (Reduce from 13 to 8 words.)
Possible answer: As you know, Steven will
have to resign.
Exercise 44: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The house made of red brick was sold for a
price of $150,000. (Reduce from 13 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: The red brick house sold for
$150,000.
Exercise 45: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The runners were quickly running down the
street. (Reduce from 8 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: The runners sprinted down the
street.
Exercise 46: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
Teresa earned a lot of money at her job with
Johnson and Johnson. (Reduce from 13 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: Teresa had a lucrative job
with Johnson and Johnson.
Exercise 47: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
John, who was in an intense argument with his
mother, yelled and screamed loudly at the top of his voice.
(Reduce from 20 to 5 words.)
Possible answer: John yelled at his mother.
Exercise 48: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
You should do your homework on a daily
basis. (Reduce from 9 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: You should do your
homework daily.
Exercise 49: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The television in the living room will need to
be repaired. (Reduce from 11 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: The living room television
needs repair.
Exercise 50: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The neighbors were deafened by the low flying
jet. (Reduce from 9 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: The low flying jet deafened
the neighbors.
Exercise 51: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
You should really think about the reason why
you decided to drop your Math class last week. (Reduce from 17 to
9 words.)
Possible answer: Why did you drop your Math
class last week?
Exercise 52: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
John has finished working on his homework
assignment from his class. (Reduce from 11 to 4 words.)
Possible answer: John finished his homework.
Exercise 53: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
You should plan ahead for your future
retirement. (Reduce from 8 to 5 words.)
Possible answer: You should plan your
retirement.
Exercise 54: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The Psychology book, which comprises 379 pages,
is a required textbook for the course. (Reduce from 14 to 7
words.)
Possible answer: The 379 page Psychology book
is required.
Exercise 55: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The mother was watching the baseball game in
which her children were playing. (Reduce from 13 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: The mother watched her
children’s baseball game.
Exercise 56: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
He fished for three hours and didn’t any
fish. (Reduce from 9 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: He unsuccessfully fished for
three hours.
Exercise 57: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
After I finished the hike, I felt tired and
exhausted. (Reduce from 10 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: After the hike, I felt
exhausted.
Exercise 58: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
I hope that you can please put a sufficient
amount of sugar in my coffee. (Reduce from 15 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: Please put enough sugar in
my coffee.
Exercise 59: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
California, which is located on the western
coast of the United States, grows many agricultural crops
throughout the year. (Reduce from 19 to 17 words.)
Possible answer: California, located on the
western coast of the United States, grows many agricultural crops
throughout the year.
Exercise 60: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The class was attentively listening to the
student’s presentation. (Reduce from 9 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: The class listened to the
student’s presentation.
Exercise 61: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
The building which was built by the contractor
was incredibly huge and large. (Reduce from 13 to 8 words.)
Possible answer: The building built by the
contractor was large.
Exercise 62: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
Steven was sick and tired of the noise from his
roommate. (Reduce from 11 to 5 words.)
Possible answer: The roommate’s noise angered
Steven.
Exercise 63: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
There are a sufficient number of seats for
the students in this class. (Reduce from 13 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: There are enough seats for
this class.
Exercise 64: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The paper which had been folded and creased was
made into a paper plane by the girl. (Reduce from 15 to 10 words.)
Possible answer: The girl made the folded paper
into a paper plane.
Exercise 65: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The book had been anxiously studied by the
student. (Reduce from 9 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: The student anxiously studied
the book.
Exercise 66: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
It is both highly unlikely and improbable that
our professor will postpone the test next week. (Reduce from 16 to
9 words.)
Possible answer: The professor will probably
not postpone next week’s test.
Exercise 67: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
You should keep track of all purchases and
expenditures by keeping your receipts after you do your shopping.
(Reduce from 18 to 10 words.)
Possible answer: You should monitor your
purchases by keeping your shopping receipts.
Exercise 68: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
The reason why John will not talk to Steven
is that he is angry that Steven used his computer without
asking permission. (Reduce from 22 to 17 words.)
Possible answer: Steve’s using John’s
computer without permission angered John, which is why he will
not talk to him.
Exercise 69: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
We went to visit Angela’s parents in Hemet, a
city which is located 50 miles east of Riverside. (Reduce from 18
to 14 words.)
Possible answer: We went to visit Angela’s
parents in Hemet, located 50 miles east of Riverside.
Exercise 70: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The chef was mixing the batter for a period of
sixty seconds. (Reduce from 12 to 8 words.)
Possible answer: The chef mixed the batter for
sixty seconds.
Exercise 71: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
It is important that you should make a
sufficient amount of food for everyone at the party. (Reduce from
17 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: You should make enough food
for all party guests.
Exercise 72: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
Due to her sickness, she is nauseous and sick to
her stomach. (Reduce from 12 to 3 words.)
Possible answer: She is nauseous.
Exercise 73: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
We should not leave the gymnasium until
such time the coach permits us to leave. (Reduce from 15 to 10
words.)
Possible answer: We should not leave the
gymnasium until the coach allows.
Exercise 74: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
Most new cars, which are equipped with air bags
for front end and side end collisions, are much safer than those
cars which do not have air bags. (Reduce from 28 to 17 words.)
Possible answer: Most new cars, equipped with
front and side air bags , are much safer than those without them.
Exercise 75: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
He was painting the house throughout the entire
day. (Reduce from 9 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: He painted the house all day.
Exercise 76: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
In an attempt to correct the mistakes in her
essay, she was editing her essay. (Reduce from 15 to 4 words.)
Possible answer: She edited her essay.
Exercise 77: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
Could you put these items in your arms and carry
them into the house? (Reduce from 14 to 8 words.)
Possible answer: Could you carry these items
into the house?
Exercise 78: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
The president made some remarks of a
humorous nature. (Reduce from 9 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: The president made some
humorous remarks.
Exercise 79: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
Professor Jones, who is a professor teaching
English Composition at Berkeley, has published five books. (Reduce
from 15 to 10 words.)
Possible answer: Professor Jones, a Berkeley
English professor, has published five books.
Exercise 80: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The carpenter constructed his house over a
period of three years. (Reduce from 12 to 8 words.)
Possible answer: The carpenter constructed his
house in three years.
Exercise 81: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
The committee debated and argued over a very
important decision. (Reduce from 10 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: The committee debated an
important decision.
Exercise 82: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
On our road trip, we traveled a distance of
three thousand miles. (Reduce from 12 to 8 words.)
Possible answer: We took a three thousand mile
road trip.
Exercise 83: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
John resembles in appearance like his
Grandfather. (Reduce from 7 to 5.)
Possible answer: John looks like his
Grandfather.
Exercise 84: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
Eco-Challenge, which is filmed in New Zealand,
tests the endurance of many athletes. (Reduce from 13 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: Eco-Challenge, filmed in New
Zealand, tests many athletes’ endurance.
Exercise 85: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
You should be finished painting the painting by
tomorrow. (Reduce from 9 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: You should finish the painting
by tomorrow.
Exercise 86: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
I will call my friend on the telephone as soon
as possible. (Reduce from 12 to 6 words.)
Possible answer: I will phone my friend
promptly.
Exercise 87: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
The rock music from the concert was loud and
noisy to the audience. (Reduce from 13 to 7 words.)
Possible answer: The rock music concert deafened
the audience.
Exercise 88: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
Members of the opposition to the Republican
Party have voted to abolish a tax on imported automobiles from
Japan. (Reduce from 19 to 13 words.)
Possible answer: Republican Party opponents
have voted to abolish a tax on imported Japanese automobiles.
Exercise 89: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
Larry matriculated into the university with the
specialization of majoring in Chemistry. (Reduce from 12 to 9
words.)
Possible answer: Larry matriculated into the
university as a Chemistry major.
Exercise 90: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
The history question was answered by two of the
students in the History class. (Reduce from 14 to 8 words.)
Possible answer: Two History class students
answered the history question.
Exercise 91: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that \he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
John swept his driveway and cleaned dirt and
debris from it. (Reduce from 11 to 4 words.)
Possible answer: John swept his driveway.
Exercise 92: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
The journalist wrote a news story in the
newspaper about the bank robbery in Los Angeles. (Reduce from 16
to 9 words.)
Possible answer: The journalist wrote about a
Los Angeles bank robbery.
Exercise 93: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
From my own personal experience, I believe
that planting roses in the wintertime is not a good idea.
(Reduce from 18 to 10 words.)
Possible answer: From my experience,
planting roses in the wintertime is counterproductive.
Exercise 94:
Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The man who is walking to class is working for
Hewlett Packard company. (Reduce from 13 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: The man walking to class works
for Hewlett Packard.
Exercise 95: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
After I scored the final touchdown for my
football team, I was amazing to all of the spectators. (Reduce
from 18 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: After scoring the final
touchdown, I amazed the spectators.
Exercise 96: Eliminate any redundancies
Eliminate any
redundancies in the following
sentence.
Redundant: John was employed and now works for
the company Levis Strauss.
Revised: John now works for the company Levis
Strauss. ("Now works for" implies that he was hired.)
Redundant: Helen is a smart and intelligent
woman.
Revised: Helen is a smart woman.
("Smart" and "intelligent" have the same
meaning.)
John was awarded a prize for finishing first
place in the 5,000 meter track event. (Reduce from 15 to 10
words.)
Possible answer: John was awarded for his 5,000
meter first place finish.
Exercise 97: Avoid unnecessary repetition of words
Eliminate any unnecessary repetition of words in the
following sentence:
Repetitious: Our student is a physically ill
student today.
Revised: Our student is physically ill today.
Due to the burns, the fireman suffered intense
pain radiating up his legs, arms, chest, neck and head. (Reduce
from 18 to 9 words.)
Possible answer: The fireman’s burns caused
excruciating pain throughout his body.
Exercise 98: Get rid of empty or inflated phrases
Eliminate empty or inflated phrases in the following
sentence. As appropriate, substitute a more concise word for the inflated
phrase in the sentence.
Empty phrase: It is my opinion that
abortion should be outlawed.
Revised: Abortion should be outlawed.
Inflated phrase: In the event that there
is an earthquake, you should hide underneath your desk until the
shaking stops.
Revised: If there is an earthquake, you should
hide underneath your desk until the shaking stops.
The teacher put an end to disruptions from
students in the class. (Reduce from 12 to 5 words.)
Possible answer: The teacher ended student
disruptions.
Exercise 99: Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to
single words
Reduce the following sentence from a clause to a phrase
or from a phrase to a word. Change word order as necessary.
Wordy: We visited Washington D.C., which is the
capital of the United States.
Concise: We visited Washington D.C., the capital
of the United States. (Adjective clause has been reduced to an
appositive phrase.)
Wordy: John’s stylish boots, made of crocodile
skin, cost him an arm and a leg.
Concise: John’s stylish crocodile skin boots cost
him an arm and a leg. (Participle phrase has been reduced to two
words.)
The traffic jam on the freeway stalled cars
which were heading to New York City. (Reduce from 15 to 11 words.)
Possible answer: The freeway traffic jam
stalled cars heading to New York City.
Exercise 100: Using active verbs
Eliminate the "be" verb in this sentence to
more descriptively state the action of the subject.
Wordy: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I was rebellious.
Concise: Not listening to my father’s pleas to
attend class, I rebelled.
I think I was observing the eclipse too
directly because my eyes were sore afterwards. (Reduce from 15 to
11 words.)
Possible answer: I observed the eclipse too
directly, hence making my eyes sore.
